I didn’t do much reading and reviewing in June. The usual reasons: chronic shoulder pain, stress, anxiety, depression. I was particularly triggered by the #Orlando mass shooting, crying a lot and a little everyday. I didn’t know it would hit me that hard, and I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. My mood didn’t improve until I’d cried it all out in therapy later that week. I felt alone in this because I don’t feel real safe expressing my feelings to my parents, so I just don’t. I’ve been living at home for the past ten years, and though my parents have changed in some ways, have treated me with more tolerance and kindness, and have accepted that I have a disabling mental illness, their values haven’t changed.
It distresses me that my dad, a Filipino immigrant, retired US Navy serviceman, and registered Democrat, will be voting for DJT. In fact, I’ve heard that some of the older Filipinos in my area are voting for DJT, too. I’ve been really obsessed with politics, and I’ve been reading and watching the news a lot, especially on MSNBC. I find it unconscionable that the media lets DJT get away with his hate speech, that even the “liberal” media has given him a megaphone, that the media doesn’t call him out for what he is. Because the fact is DJT is a white supremacist, bigot, xenophobe, and misogynist. It is disturbing and sad how many followers he has.
Anyway, M/M has also been bothering me a lot. I honestly have no fucking clue right now what M/M is all about. Is it romance or erotica? Is it even LGBT? Because there are some women who seem to believe M/M ought to be written a certain way, for female consumption, and not for gay/bi men. I’m more interested in authentic and empowering representations of historically marginalized groups and people. I would rather read LGBT romance written by, for, and about LGBT people, not to mention POC/WOC romance written by POC/WOC.
Lately, reading and reviewing ARCs hasn’t been fun for me. It’s been feeling like work and stressing me out. I’m thinking about quitting ARC reviewing, though I could still host book tours, as long as I don’t overbook them. I want to spend more time on my writing and my mental health blog. I’m so confused about what I’m going to do with this blog, and I need to make a decision soon.
❤ JUNE 2016 RECAP ❤